Robyn Feld
Author of The Seasons of Good-bye:
An Alzheimer's Caregiver Journal
This picture was displayed on Mom's dresser from 1949 until 2000. When she moved to the nursing home, the staff put it on her door so she would know which room was hers.
This "three generations" picture was taken at my daughter Wendy's wedding in 1998. Mom was still functioning (or pretending to) although hygiene was beginning to be an issue. She was still driving at this point and got lost on the way home from the reception (after insisting she didn't need any guidance because she used to work in the area and had driven the route for years which was technically true). I found out about it from a concerned neighbor who let me know that Mom didn't get home until 4:00 in the morning - she'd left the reception at 10:00 p.m.
|
My history as an AD caregiver
I was an Alzheimer’s caregiver for my mother for six and a half years. The topics in The Seasons of Good-bye reflect my experiences in that role. Mom and Dad had divorced years before so, as her only child, I dealt with her driving, hygiene, housing and care, cat, money, forgetfulness, obsessions, hallucinations, clothing and everything else an AD caregiver takes on.
I did it out of love and duty to her but, as a result (and unwisely) I quickly lost my self-love and ignored my duty to myself to take care of me, too.
- My weight skyrocketed along with my blood pressure.
- When I got home from work, I just sat around, too exhausted to do the exercise that I knew would make me feel better.
- I developed situational depression and was put on medication.
If it wasn’t about Mom, it just didn’t exist for me.
Journaling
The one thing that I did do for myself was faithfully journal. On those pages, I could:
- “Let loose”, and curse the darkness, as it were.
- Rant about what Mom’s life had become and, by default, how I couldn’t have a life.
- “Talk” about some of her so-called friends who never came to see her any more because Mom wasn’t the same person they had known.
You get the picture. My journal didn’t care how many times I brought up the same points or got mad about the same things. My journaling was an emotional release and I believe it was a strong factor in my coming through the caregiver years as well as I did.
Why this book is helpful for caregivers
The Seasons of Good-bye addresses a need for AD caregivers. It contains hundreds of stories from caregivers who took the time to share their experiences so that the book’s readers can be reassured that what they are facing as an AD caregiver is pretty universal - and yet unique.
Besides the anecdotes and pages for journaling and notes, there are:
- Pages where all important numbers – phone, addresses, bank accounts, etc. – once noted, can be at a reader’s fingertips.
- A suggested reading list – books that I personally found were helpful in my role as AD caregiver or that were recommended by other close friends.
- Contact information for various agencies that can help the AD patient and caregiver.
For six and a half years, I felt all of the things AD caregivers feel everyday. I wanted to help, so I wrote this book.
I also want to help fight Alzheimer’s and its effects, so I’m donating $1.00 from the sale of each book to Alzheimer’s research and outreach.
|
